I have a worry problem. Always have. Ever since I was a little girl, I have struggled with worry and fear. I used to have trouble sleeping because I would worry that something was going to happen to my parents.
Sometimes I have irrational fears.
I worry that I am going to get eaten by a shark when I go to the beach.
When I lived in California, I worried that I was going to get mauled by a mountain lion.
And then there are other fears.
My husband used to be a marine. A month after we got engaged, he was deployed to Iraq to fight in the war. He was a helicopter gunner and one of his squadron’s jobs was casualty evacuation.
Oliver North, a news anchor for Fox News, was attached to his squadron. So that was cool because I got nightly updates on the news about what they were doing.
Then they flew their first mission.
One of their helicopters crashed and everyone on board was killed. It was the first helicopter crash of the war.
It was the worst night of my life.
I didn’t know if Skip was on that helicopter or not, but fear gripped my heart and I was completely overcome with fear.
I couldn’t sleep. I remember the shear panic I felt like it was yesterday. I thought my mind was going to explode. It was awful. I had myself completely convinced that he was dead.
The next morning, I still did not know anything. I drove over to his grandparent’s house because I knew if the military were going to notify anyone, they would tell them first since we were not married yet.
I remember my heart pounding and my mind racing on the drive to their house. Finally, I thought to myself, ‘I have got to get a grip here. This is ridiculous. I am terrified, worried and upset and I don’t even know the outcome yet.’
The worst battles we fight will always be in our minds.
So I started quoting a verse I know and love out loud in the car.
“Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:25-26
I started saying it over and over again right there by myself in the car. I said it louder and louder—loud enough for the devil to hear it. I was ready for him to get out of my car and take a hike.
Yes, I felt like my flesh and heart were failing me, but when I am weak-He is strong. God is the strength of my heart! He is my portion forever! I had Him. He’s what I needed!
I needed to put my trust and dependence on HIM.
Throughout the rest of the months Skip was overseas, it was a continual battle. I struggled with trusting God on a daily basis.
I wanted someone to tell me that Skip was going to come back safe. I wanted assurance. I wanted to start planning my wedding–my future.
No one could tell me that though.
I remember talking to my dad one day and he said, “Rachel, I can’t tell you what the future holds, but you know what you can count on?”
“The best! Whatever God has for you and your future, it’s going to be the best. He has the BEST for you, and you can count on that!”
Did he tell me Skip was going to come back safe from the war? No.
Did he tell me what God had planned for my future? No.
What he was telling me is that I needed to trust in the Lord!
Trust in my Strong Tower!
The Lord can be trusted!
The Lord can ALWAYS be trusted!
This world is so full of brokenness, death, darkness, disease, and sin.
We will all face trials and hardships. No one is immune to its painful sting.
I am learning that safety is not in the absence of danger. Safety is being in the presence of God.
He is our strong tower. He is where we need to run when fear overtakes us and we face life’s battles.
Our hope has to be in Him.
Trust is a battle–A battle we must fight–but a battle we CAN WIN! But we have to continually run to Him.
The enemy wants nothing more than to keep us paralyzed with fear.
I have heard it said that fear is like a rocking chair. It requires a lot of effort, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
I got relief in the car that day…even before I got the phone call…before I got the news that Skip was safe.
I got relief by running to my Strong Tower.
“The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous man runs into it and is safe.” Proverbs 18:10
Run to your Strong Tower today! There’s safety in His arms!